Review #88

May 29, 2013

So for those of you who are a lotta bit late to the party there's this pretty fantastic game called Minecraft.  It's a sandbox style adventure that is placed in a cubified, infinite world.  A few different playing options are provided to ensure proper playability/douchery. 

Creative mode brings the infinite wisdom of the boxy world to your finger tips and helps you to create all the things with the click of a button.  For those of us with a little more adventure and cahones, we are given Survival mode which gives us the added bonus of nothingness at our fingertips.  We must craft from start to finish to accomplish the exceptional detail that we want our little pixelated avatar to have...Which then ends up being a little shit box house without a roof or a prefabricated cave we just slap a door on and call it good. 

The adventure begins in the middle of no where, which is somewhere, but it's likely that you'll never find this place again until you die...later that night.  I say until and not unless because it is likely that you will not know how to save a new spawn point, and when you do, you can't find a damn sheep to murder/shave.  So you're screwed, and all your stuff is gone, and you are alone in the dark after a nasty little skeleton has feasted on your still bleeding corpse.

Next we will get into the creatures of the game since you brought it up.  The original creatures in the non-modded game consist of:

The Good- Sheep, Cows, Mooshrooms (Never found one of those), Chickens, Pigs, Fish (That you catch but can't see), Squid, Bats, and Wolves (So long as you don't smack them).

The Bad- Zombies, Skeletons, Creepers, Endermen, Spiders, Cave Spiders, Slimes, Magma Cubes, Ghasts, Blaze, and Ender Dragon.

The Ugly- Villagers (Big ugly ass noses), Zombie Pigmen (Wtf), and Witches (...Fugly...).

So those being your options of what is going to murder you in this game, and what will bring you sustenance, you better make sure you remember which is which. 

Now I say non-modded because this game gets really really epic on the PC once you incorporate the different modifications to your world.  So many different creatures and items and ways to be eviscerated.  This game turns into Super Sayian 9001 once you get the hang of it and find out there's more add ons. 

After knowing what to avoid, make sure you find some minerals and crap which consist of wood, dirt, stone, gravel, sand, clay, gold (useless), red stone, lapis lazuli, iron, and diamonds to name a few worthwhile ones.  A lot of these can help with crafting and later in the game can help make systems to help make you more efficient.  Also lava bucket is awesome for cooking tons of stuff fyi (Just don't fall in during the process of retrieving it).

This game also takes over a good portion of your life, so be forewarned that homework will not get done, class will be skipped, and your nonexistent girlfriend will get all mad bro when you tell her you're in a Clan with your friends and your killing the Ender Dragon and you'll be done soon (After Dawn Breaks). 

So budget your time and get ready to give up 25 bucks or so on this amazingly awesome game.  Make sure you check the Minecraft Wiki off and on to find out how to make things or what you should be aiming for to get further in the game.  I got a couple pointers for you now, but I'll keep it brief:

1) Collect Wood and Dirt first thing to help make a shelter/crafting table so you can start your new little life.

2) Get some wool from a sheep and make a damn bed and sleep in it so you don't die and end up back in the middle of bum fuck no where.

3) Check the Wiki on how to make things if you are struggling.

4) Don't dig down/up...ever, unless you want lava smeared all over your melted face. 

5) Don't forget to eat and stock up on food for adventures.

6) Get some cool mods to make it more fun/challenging.

7) Save your game and do other things.  Hours may be wasted on this game, but the best thing about this is you can save it wherever you are and walk away and shit will be right where you left it.  Go ride a bike or do your overdue homework. 

I hope you all enjoy playing this game and make some awesome crap.  Use your creativity, dig some holes, and find some mothafuckin diamonds. 

Happy gaming players.

Enforcertmax

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