Review #81

March 10, 2013

So me and a presumably homosexual friend have been ranting and raving about this game: it's nothing new, it's just really damned good. NexusSloth

Survival Horror game, it's pretty solid; and for it's time period, it was actually made to be pretty difficult.

Alright, so this is a game made by the good fucking folks at 4A games based out of some sad Eurotrash nation (Ukraine), and written by some fine-ass bro in the middle of nowhere(Russia).

Like pretty much every other game that takes place in an earth scorched by nuclear warfare, this is a fucking FPS.

(Author's note: EAT SHIT IF YOU DON'T PLAY THAT KIND OF GAME.)

Okay, here's the details on the storyline that you'll need to hear. I know you hate reading books about as much as you hate the fact that you will die alone, but if you play this game you'll have to live with the fact that this is based off a fucking book

...I never read the book, I played the game: THAT'S FUCKING CLOSE ENOUGH.

Setting? NUKES FUCKED THE WORLD UP. HARD. So now everyone lives in the metro tunnels. And there you have it: that's why it's called METRO 2033.

There's mutants and shit, and you're always getting chased or fucking scared to shit because something is growling or yelling at you with a Russian accent, which is pretty much what life is like in Russia right now.

Oh, and there's a pretty unique concept in this game that ACTUALLY MAKES IT DIFFICULT: bullets are money.

BACK UP, DICKBAG - 

MONEY. EQUALS. BULLETS.

Yeah, so shooting shit costs you bigtime. This kind of makes the whole ammo conservation thing A BIG FUCKING DEAL.


Summary

Fuck yeah, this game is fun.

The controls aren't clunky, the story is actually engaging, and it's of decent length.

DECENT LENGTH.

LIKE MY D... drums.

 

 

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