Review #69

Playing through this game wasn't anything life-changing, but it's pretty fucking good.

There, I said it: Bioshock is good.

I mean, FUCK the ocean in the previous 2, I hated those repetitive closed rooms where you had to stave off waves of cancer-ridden jackasses with traps, lame weapons, and etc. etc...

This game takes place in the FUCKING SKY, just like your expectations of this game when you first come home with the disk/have just finished installing it. I blame MY mild disappointment on the marketing that went into place behind it, what with all the beefing up of the Bioshock Infinite title.

BUT BACK TO THE SHIT THAT MATTERS

Alright, so here's the story (sans spoilers) in a tiny nutshell:

You're Booker Dewitt, a dude with a big debt to some powerful people who want this girl. So you hop in a rocket and go to the magic sky place called Columbia, which is essentially Mecca for people who hold true to the old ways in America (read: there's intense racism and zero tolerance). Girl turns out to have powers, and there's a lot of mystery that the game does... well, this game does an amazing job of answering almost everything.

ARE THERE GUNS?!

Yeah, the gameplay is pretty damned intense, four times out of five. The weapons have a pretty simple upgrade system, albeit a basic one. The REAL upgrade shit comes from your magic shit in your off-hand, which they chose to call "Vigors"; stupid name, really powerful shit. The generic powers from the previous Bioshock games are still around, and there's a couple new ones, like crow swarm (explains itself).

What makes the fighting not so droll? Skylines.
There's these lines that run through...the..sky...uh. SKYROLLERCOASTER THINGS. WOOT. And they're just about everywhere, too, so this isn't a little gimmick for one or two maps, it's an integral part of the game and it affects the way you play this game. If you ride the skylines, there's TONS of high ground you can access, and there are sniper rifles and long-range weaponry. Ground battle is self-explanitory.

WRAP IT UP, I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT

It was a good game. Just... lower your expectations a bit if you've been waiting forever to play this. (read: I was)

I whupped this game in like, 6 hours on hard. I didn't go "OOH AHH WOAH WHAT'S THAT" with it, so I guess it should take longer. I'd play this game again, though. It's got everything you need, really: solid story, great voice acting, and it never really stalls in terms of momentum. You'll like it, trust me.

NexusSloth

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